as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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