I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
