Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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