I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
