those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
