We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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