"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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