laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize
