I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You pole danced in your parka.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
