i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
