You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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