god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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