its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
