I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
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Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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