Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
