chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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