it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
