When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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