How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
