u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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