i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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