Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize