What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
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States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
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I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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