apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
