wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
