my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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