Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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