Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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