I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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