Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
