The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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