im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my sisters under your porch take her home
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
