It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
