So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I don't deserve a penis
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
