I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
