Kiss
Puke
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
