I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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