this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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