yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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