STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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