If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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