she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
