So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
