Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
