Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
