Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
our cab driver is having phone sex.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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