i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
