i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
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So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
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The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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