i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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