omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We smell like vodka and hangover
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