How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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