Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
