South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
