Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
