Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
