he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
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Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
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As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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