people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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