i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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