My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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