So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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