Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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