Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize