My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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