i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
