Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize