is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
