Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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